77 Things I Love About You

(A Christmas Gift for my Boyfriend)

1. I love the way you manage to twist tucked in bed sheets and blankets into a twisty pretzel between the time I wake up and you wake up.
2. I love how, no matter how long you’ve been awake, you don’t come alive until you have a hot cup of tea in your hands.
3. I love how you light up when you see a fresh, obscure vegetable.
4. I love how you make ‘gross’ faces when you see processed foods.
5. I love coming into the bathroom and finding twelve separate towels on the floor, and I love how you don’t seem to notice them.
6. I love how you look in a pair of jeans.
7. I love how you look in a pair of shorts.
8. I love how you look in your pajamas.
9. I love how you look in a tank top.
10. Okay, I love how you look in anything. (And also out of those things. I mean, come on.)
11. I love when you scoot close to me and say “You can scratch my back if you want to.”
12. I love, in the early mornings, when you kind of flop over on top of me with your head nestled into my chest and your arm around my waist, and I don’t want to move because then you won’t be snuggling anymore.
13. I love getting a message from you a few hours after you get to work. “Good morning, mister, how is your day going?”
14. I love how we can do almost anything together and have a blast: movies, ballet, drag shows, dinner, walks and hikes, Netflix at home, swimming, travel.
15. I love holding your hand during a movie, and snuggling in close to you.
16. I love how you look at a dance floor in a gay club and agree to step out with me, as if you were stepping into hot quicksand.
17. I love the way you sit and play on the floor with my kids, implementing complex plotlines like diabetic super-villains, zoo coding infractions, and jealous princesses. They never stop talking about it.
18. I love your unending patience with my sons, building them houses in SIMS, giving them drawing challenges, listening for several minutes at a time as they tell their stories.
19. I love how you saw “What!” and “Oh no!” when you play with them, taking on tones of sarcasm and playfulness in your voice.
20. I love how you giggle when J dances to music videos or A picks a ridiculous name for his newest animal toy.
21. I love watching you cook, and I love you for adapting your cooking styles to my vegetarianism, putting special care into making delicious options for me while eating for you.
22. I love that you don’t cook fish in my home because you know it will make me ill.
23. I love watching you play the piano, how the whole world tunes out and you auto-focus on the sounds and rhythms in your head, coming out through your fingers.
24. I love your bizarre taste in music, and how you have introduced me to so many incredible new sounds and bands. Indie music is to you what comic books are to me, and I love that we have those differences.
25. I love how you listen to how I see the world, and create safety for my views of the world to exist in. I love that you don’t try to change me, only to meet me in the middle.
26. I love that our biggest fights have only been slightly serious discussions.
27. I love that you show up when I read, that you read what I write, that you care about what I’m doing, and that you remember the complicated details.
28. I love how you carefully consider your words.
29. I love your crisp Ts.
30. I love awkward photos of you  as a child, how you always looked a bit younger and more twinky than you were at the time.
31. I love your need for balance, including nutrition, sleep, and exercise, and how you don’t feel quite right unless you are perfectly maintaining.
32. I love how you love delicious macarons. .
33. I love how you want to try bizarre foods in weird combinations, like llama at the Farmer’s Market.
34. I love how you totally nerd out over plants, and I love your green thumb.
35. I love how you watch obnoxious cartoons to fall asleep.
36. I love that you say “I try”, and give a little shoulder shrug, whenever I compliment you. “You’re handsome.” “I try.” “You look strong today!” “I try.” “You have a cute butt.” “I try.”
37. I love how respectful you are to your mother, sister, and grandmother.
38. I love that you constantly know what is going on in the news.
39. I love that you listen to podcasts while you work.
40. I love that whenever I ask about your work day, you have absolutely nothing to tell me, although it represents 8 hours of your life.
41. I love watching you play with dogs and cats, and how you have a knack for putting them to sleep right in your lap.
42. I love how you get an awkward shyness in your face whenever you see a good-looking guy walk by.
43. I love that time you put a lawnmower in your car and it took you three weeks to move it out of your car.
44. I love how carefully you schedule things like haircuts, oil changes, and doctor’s appointments.
45. I love how you refer to your friends as “the Friend Circle” in capital letters.
46. I love how you grow slightly quiet in larger groups, but how you have so much to saw in small crowds or to individuals. You are incredibly charming.
47. I love that we have had 12 consecutive “Oscar Nights” together, and that represents a whole year in a relationship.
48. I love that you share my love for independent films.
49. I love that you miss me when I’m gone, and that I have someone to miss when I’m gone.
50. I love that I can travel and that you support me and don’t feel threatened by my need to explore.
51. I love your slightly competitive streak when we play board games together.
52. I love that you listen when I have something to say (and I have a lot to say).
53. I love that, at the age of 38, I finally brought a boy home to meet my mother, and it was you. And how a boy brought me home to meet his mother too.
54. I love that we can spend evenings apart and still feel okay.
55. I love how you wrap your arms around me for a morning hug, and I can squeeze you so tight.
56. I love the shade of your eyes.
57. I love how lean and slender you are.
58. I love how you support me in my goals and help me seek change, without being critical, impatient, or unkind.
59. I love that you let me dream big. For me, for you, for us.
60. I love how frustrated you get when technology isn’t working correctly.
61. I love how you make me feel safe, secure, grounded, and well. I love how you have given me firm ground to stand on after I’ve had a life time of feeling like I could only rely on myself.
62. I love that we can watch robot dramas, zombies, love stories, comedy specials, raunchy cartoons, documentaries, or super hero stories, and how we wait for each other to see what comes next.
63. I love that I can look forward to my future, as I get closer to turning 40, and how I see you as part of it.
64. I love that members of my family have started calling us “Chad and Mike”, and that I feel accepted as part of a gay relationship, something I never thought possible.
65. I love that when I say ‘I love you’, you say ‘I love you too’ and I feel like you mean it.
66. I love that you feel safe around me, and I love that you sometimes get jealous.
67. I love how flushed you get when your friends tell me stories of your sordid past.
68. I love your musical talents, and how you realize you have so much more to cultivate there.
69. I love how damn handsome you are.
70. I love our ‘how we met’ story, and how adorable it is.
71. I love how much thought you put into giving gifts, and how carefully you select them.
72. I love that my kids call you ‘the greatest chef in the world’ because you ‘make everything from scratch.’
73. I love watching you play dinosaurs with your nephew.
74. I love how we can playfully push each other around and you call me a bully, and how you somehow make that sound like the most adorable word in those moments.
75. I love that I can wake up super early in the mornings and you can stay sleeping soundly.
76. I love that we just squish together when we spoon on the couch until there is enough room for both of us.
77. I love how you kind of live with me but not really, but really you are just there anyway about 13 nights out of 14. In fact, maybe do you wanna move in?