The Man I Love


Hey there, Man I Love,

I’m pretty sure I haven’t met you yet. I mean, it’s possible that I’ve met you and there haven’t been any sparks, or I just don’t know what’s going to happen next. But I’m erring on the side of “haven’t met you yet.”

Anyway, wanted to sit down and write you a letter since you were on my mind. (When you read this, and after you eventually get to know me, I presume that you’ll be charmed and find it totally adorable that I would take time to write a letter like this. I mean, if you don’t find this charming, chances are you and I wouldn’t work well anyway).

The image I put up on the top is a screenshot from that old 1940s movie starring Ida Lupino (how amazing was she!) where George Gershwin wrote that song, “The Man I Love”, and it’s all sweet and sappy about a girl waiting around for that perfect guy that is going to give her the perfect life. (You know the song, right? Billie Holiday and Ella Fitzgerald and Etta James all sang it later. If you don’t know it, give it a listen before you keep reading).

Super sappy song, right? But totally sweet and hits you right in all the feel goods. The major difference being that I’m not sitting around.

Anyway, where the hell have you been? I mean, I’ve been keeping an eye out for a while now. My kids were toddler and infant when I first became available, and now they are both school age. (They are seriously growing so fast). Six years! I haven’t exactly been idly waiting. I’m running a business, getting in shape, making plans for a future that may well be solo, and generally loving life. I fell in love a couple times, briefly at least, but nothing took. I’m living the hell out of life, solo, and I quite like my company. Still hoping you’ll show up though.

I think I know a little bit about you already, because I know me so well. I have no doubt that you are going to surprise me all of the time with who you are and where you come from. I look forward to that, to constantly being taken aback by the person you are and the life you have lived.

I presume you will be the kind of guy who texts back, and who not only enjoys spending time with me but makes an effort to do so, and that you’ll be bold enough to start a conversation and invested enough to keep one going. I assume we will have similar interests that overlap: old Hollywood movies, live music, hearty laughter, delicious food in small quantities, a love of random selection and the human story, a desire to travel the world, and a nice blend of introvert/extrovert to us. I presume you’ll want to build something together, steadily and consistently, over time. I presume you’ll have heart and soul in equal measure, that you’ll do nice things and enjoy it when I do nice things back.

I presume that you are balanced, and that you have a life apart from mine, one that is full and fulfilling, with a job and family and friends and interests, and that you’ll want me to be a part of that life, and that we can work together to keep ourselves strong individually so we can be stronger together. I presume that my kids think you are hilarious and someone worthy of their trust.

I don’t care what you look like. I mean, obviously I do care what you look like, but I don’t have a type, as long as you take care of yourself. I am way more attracted to a man who can banter, who can hold a conversation, who can make me laugh, and who is kind to others. And a man who can stand for social justice, who can appreciate a powerful woman and who can embrace those who haven’t had it as easy as we have because of skin color or ethnicity or gender identity or country of origin or religion, well that is a man I can stand next to proudly. I prefer a man who can talk it out when things get tough, who can ask for what he needs, who can admit when he makes a mistake, and a man who listens, who doesn’t give me ultimatums or push me too hard before I’m ready.

And if you can enchant me with a pair of eyes, kiss me like I liked to be kissed, and hold me tight in a pair of strong arms, well, I have a feeling the rest is going to happen pretty naturally, and regularly, and repeatedly. Ahem. Better change the subject.

Anyway, mister man, wherever you are, I’m standing here rooted in place with my two little saplings, and growing upward, ever upward. I’m guessing the taller I get, the easier it will be to see me.

Anyway, I’ll close up with a few of Gershwin’s words. I almost look forward to those little silent moments between us the most.

“He’ll look at me and smile; I’ll understand.

And in a little while, he’ll take my hand.

And though it seems absurd, I know we both won’t say a word.

Maybe I shall meet him Sunday, maybe Monday maybe not.

Still I’m sure to meet him one day.”

See you around? Soon, maybe?

Sincerely, the Man You Love

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